Monday, June 1, 2009

Onward and Upward

Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As you can imagine, since
the photos of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.

(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and you can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.
)

It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.

Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online,
my wife just happened to stop by the local sporting goods store and brought home a set of weights.

"Well, it's summer soon," she said, by way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.

I became suspicious.

Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?

This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while ago over the dinner table:


"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like you want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."


It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:

1. Random gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")


2. Signing you up for piano lessons ("You said you wanted a new hobby.")


3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")


4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)

Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?

5. You are certain she keeps calling you by a different name (“No, you misheard me… I said “I love you, onward!”)

6. She makes you stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting you come to bed (“It’ll tighten your pores”)


It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages you at work and you hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…


133 comments:

  1. Oh my god. Every line I was rolling on the floor laughing. Best post to date.

    In all fairness, I would draw the line at lipstick and AquaNet to hold your bouffant up all day. Though staring at your wife like you want a taste of her or smirking at her (devilishly) could win you brownie points.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those are excellent ideas! My boyfriend would know exactly who it was if I called his work and asked for Mr. Cullen. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOL'ed a few times reading this. Great work again! Luckily for my husband (and me), my husband already has the Edward hair and clothing styles down (pre-Twilight).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my...I loved everything about your blog! I check it every day when I check Twilight Lexicon! I have been pretty involved with the shirtless Italy pics as well the the new trailer myself, so I know that my husband feels exactly like you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha, ha, ha! I was crackin' up in the first paragraph! You are HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah, we missed you Widower. I was wondering how this past week was at your house... personally I have perfected an intense, problem-solving face while I'm on the computer at work. And I can minimize the page as fast as, well, a vampire if someone comes too close to my desk.
    Thanks or the smiles!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks FOR the smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL! i missed your blog so much mr Widower! well technically not the how-you-resent my-Edward-my-Edward but how your wife and i were so much in the same track... i couldnt count how many times did i said "I love you, Edward" "Onward" later (after he glares at me) to my BF.. and how i'd told him his having hearing problem. LOL and yah! when you guys stare at us.. seriously, you look like your having some poo-poo problem. =)

    ReplyDelete
  9. LOL.
    You have been miss, my good sir. You have been missed.

    Well, my favorite name recently was "Mr. Sparklypants" as dubbed by one of my all time favorite SSTB commenters, however "Pretty McSparkle" might just take the cake. Personally, I think you should just go for it! Lather yourself up in with some glitter, put a little gel in your hair and stare at your wife like you want to eat her. Cause ya know what!? You might just get a little something out of it. Just sayin'. We Twitards are dirty birds at hearts. ;) Maybe you need to start playing the game.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This was just too good and made my day. Pretty McSparkle...that's what I shall call him from now on.

    ps. I'm not a twilighter but i have been trying to make my husband more and more like Kevin Spacey for years.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pretty McSparkle makes me laugh right out loud!! But let's face it, most of us Twi-obsessed ladies secretly try to make our significant others resemble our favorite vampire in some way, shape or form... I love it - stare at her like you want to eat her! That is just priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Or...you could rent/buy yourself a Volvo Preferably a C30, drop your wife in the worst part of town, wait until she "almost" gets mugged, roll up in said Shiny Volvo, Growl at perpertrators scaring them silly, speed off at lighting speed and take her out for some mushroom ravioli.
    2 things are going on here: 1- a life threatening situation that you have saved her from...you will reap some benefits for sure, maybe even 2 times.
    2. you now have a shiny volvo to reap the benefits in!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hairbrained mom, I am intrigued by your ideas, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Seriously, Widower, I think she's on to something here.

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Pretty McSparkle" has to be the best line in your blog!! LOL!

    Great blog!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This blog gets more brilliant every time. You are so funny! I read yours and then I forward it to my husband at work. I wish he wrote a blog.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Pretty McSparkle has made my day!!! we missed you Mr. Widower!!! keep posting... you are hilarious!

    Greetings from Central America!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've really missed you! I couldn't keep laughing as I read your last post. I was really, really wishing to know what you would come up with after the shirtless pics floating all over the universe. I think you should make a book of your blog at a later time...

    ReplyDelete
  18. your blog is hysterical. keep it up. i make my husband read it. for the lol's and to make him feel slightly better that i haven't gone to these extremes. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yes, you have to add the silver Volvo for sure, along with a small restaurant and mushroom ravioli... Other than that - you got it right, I think :) I've been trying to figure out how to sign my husband up for piano or guitar lessons...

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Stare at me like you want to eat me." HAHAHAHA!!! W-O-W that is fantastic. I need to remind myself not to read your blog while I am at work. People stare at me funny when I start laughing so hard I snort. That's right I said snort. Anyhow, I have missed your posts. I understand the nice weather though as I live in Seattle. :-) Enjoy it while you can right? Too soon it will be back to grey skies and typical "Twilight" weather. HA!

    ReplyDelete
  21. It is all so true that is why it is sooo funny. I love your blog, my huband and I read it out loud to our friends for laughs.... keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  22. youre a genius, man

    ReplyDelete
  23. hee hee Mr Widower, your posts crack me up!
    I sent your blog to my "non-Twi" friends and they all nod in agreement as they read it.
    It is true, we have been having beautiful weather here in the 604. 32degrees is very unusual so early in the year. Not complaining tho!
    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Your wife must be so proud that you have a popular Twilight blog!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well, I'm posting as nonymous because I run a Twilight site and I don't want all hell to come down on me. But I think you've missed the obvious. I read that the abs on our beloved sparkle boy were in fact air brushed! So if you want to please your wife maybe a little dab of paint,shadow,bronzer -take your pick, experiment- would do the trick. Or perhaps go the opposite direction and join the wolf pack. I have a feeling that wolves will be very in this summer & fall. Treat yourself to a sunless tan - be careful, don't want to go to far and end up like an Oompa-Loompa - and get a tattoo - go for the bubble-gum ones! Jacob too has his very good points and perhaps it will be difficult to look like you're 7 feet tall, but with practice you could shake everytime you loose your patince =) It's worth a try. So I hope this is of some help.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh Pretty McSparkle.
    I read your blog while at work and just so you know, after I LMAO'd at the screen, 3 people came over and I was thisclose to getting in trouble. Dang you & your hysterically witty blog.

    Thanks for the great ideas to change my David to a Daveward. Oh yeahs.

    CHRISTINA

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ohh you could uptade everyday! I've missed a new entry, but I guess it was worth it.. I laughed soo hard I was breathless!
    Way to go.. it's hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I was so waiting for your blog after the shirtless pics came out. I mean Twitter almost froze. It was what my hubby said "The Day the Earth Stood Still". I completely froze on the computer that day. All i heard was "Hunny? Are you Ok? Hunny?" I sent him your link to his e-mail while he was standing there because I could not speak. He went to other computer saw your blog and LHAO. He felt much better Thank-You. We love you keep up the good work. You are hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  29. So funny. So glad you're back! I often laugh out loud at work, at the store, driving in my car, when I think of some of the things you've said. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  30. "No. That just looks constipated."
    Hahaha, you're great.

    ReplyDelete
  31. How many times has your wife watched the MTV movie awards??

    ReplyDelete
  32. this blog is one of the funniest i have ever read :) ...and sadly so true!! a self confessed twihard here. my dear hubby has been wery patient and understanding, he didn't even blink when i told him that i was going to italy with a friend to watch the shoot (we live in finland). so to italy we went and our hubbys took some time off work and watched the children while we were set stalking in montepulciano *lol* and what a trip it was!! omg!!

    so i must say, that it isn't easy being a twi widower...this fandom/addiction/obsession is just plain madness, but we love our dear hubbys for bearing this edward frenzy :)

    and i showed your blog to my better half and he had the biggest grin on his face while reading your posts *lol* so keep them coming :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. I totally love your blog. It is quite hilarious!!

    I am a big fan of Mr.Cullen himself and yes, my husband can relate to "SOME" things you write (we laugh 2gether when reading the blog)..it just puts a smile on my face and I bet everyother person who can totally relate or not =). I applaud you and all the TWI-WIDOWERS who put up with us...its true love!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I have never, ever read a blog. Much less wrote a blog. You are truly amazing! A complete crack up! Your humor and daily twist help to ease my Twi-Obession! My Pretty McSparkle, aka husband, is certainly not constipated. Unlike Mr. Cullen, he just lacks 90 years of experience. With continued blog support . . . who knows! Rock on Widower!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Welcome back :) (waves) Had me laughing so much my boss asked was i ok for air gosh! Well id give any man in Ireland fact 50 it might cure d awful farmers tans being sported l8ly

    ReplyDelete
  36. Welcome back, Widower! We've missed you.

    Love the 'Pretty McSparkle' comment. I have a feeling you'll be seeing that reference all over the web within the next few days.

    Thanks for the laughs and keep it coming!

    ReplyDelete
  37. *snort* Once again, you have me rolling, love the "stare at me" part! LOLOL!

    ReplyDelete
  38. My SO did attempt the "stare" last night! OOh lala! Too bad the kids were home, his boat would've definitely been rockin'! Thump, thump, thump! Keep it comin' Twi-Widower!
    "I love you, Onward!"

    ReplyDelete
  39. Well, I must admit I have been checking your site EVERY STINKING DAY, waiting for your response to the "shirtless" pics! I wasn't prepared for the weights or the stare or the "phone call for Mr. Cullen." I can't help but wonder how many men would actually beat you to the phone! Lol!!!!! You are priceless!!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. LOL that was a hilarious post =D u made my day.. hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  41. You need to post about everyones new obsession with Taylor Lautner since he's obviously more than just a little kid now. It's like scoring a point for your team! I've seen friends "playing for both teams" now when before he was nothing but a dog.

    ReplyDelete
  42. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  43. i love this blog. and i am guilty of liking twilight, but i openly admit that it encourages psychotic behavior. thanks for all the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  44. @Anonymous June 7th: Spare me your homophobic rants. And for the love of God learn to spell.

    Deleted.

    ReplyDelete
  45. One day the truth will come out!! YOU are the true Edward Cullen fan, and there is no wifey is there? Let's see some proof mi amigo.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Out of all your posts (and I must say I enjoy them all) THIS post is my favorite - maybe because every single thing you blogged that your wife did, I've done to my own husband ;-) Keep on writing, your incredible!

    Melissa -

    ReplyDelete
  47. You have literally the most hilarious blog out there! My husband is a Twilight Widower and yet I can't help but crack up at every single post. You could charge money for this stuff!! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  48. I am an obessed fan. My boyfriend says Im an eleven year old girl. He also calls Pretty McSparkle, Wall eyes and Five head. But we both think your blog is super funny. I check it everyday and it makes me laugh. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Aw man! Your wife has gone so far?? that is just sick..
    ok, I understand her love for all things twilight and rpatzz, but not to this level!

    Well, what can I say... the best luck to you and
    may the Forse be with you!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Sir- you are elusive!!! I need to see if I can get the approval to use your picture of Twilight in the trash can... I'm writing a post about your blog for my Examiner page...

    Can you contact me asap?

    -Kim
    Twilight Moonlighter aka Pillow Biters
    aka Twilight Parents Examiner

    ReplyDelete
  51. @Kim: By all means yes! use it and any other image from this blog with my full approval. I stole them all anyway. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  52. I made my "I refuse to read Twilight because my wife is insane" hubby read this post...even he cracked a smile at pretty mcsparkle! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  53. 'pretty mcsparkle'

    that is gold.

    ha! you're hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Bravo Twi-Widower! You're back with a vengence(you have been missed). Loved your latest post and can't help but snort every time.
    So...umm... hairgel, piano lessons, Sunblock 50+, new vintage wardrobe, "paging Mr.Cullen" and my personal favorite "standing in the cold before coming into bed".
    Tell me your not serious. Please tell me that it hasn't gotten that bad... please.

    The things you do for your wife..nothing short of classic.
    You truly took your vows to heart ;)

    ReplyDelete
  55. just be thankfull that twilight did not come around when you a teenager. teenagae boys are far easier to manipulate... seriously, with a six week course of intense twilight treatment, you can actually brainwash them to WANT to be like edward, and with 10 weeks they start to forget that you're thinking of another man. its much easier to teach new tricks to a puppy....

    ReplyDelete
  56. Equating teenage boys to puppies... Ouch!
    (Now I know that wasn't a reference to my boy Jake!)
    Better hide the choke collars...

    ReplyDelete
  57. Dear Twidower,

    Since I cannot find an email address for you on this lovely blog, I decided to simply leave a comment for you.

    Firstly, I would like to say your tack and grace while dealing with all us nutters is amazing and commendable. After the douche baggery of Mr. Bradley "the pig" Turner and his post yesterday, I would like to say, that you sir are appreciated.

    You are a productive, funny, witty, clever, amazing addition to the Twilight community, for you make fun of us while joining in on all the madness with grace and acceptance.

    And sir, for that, I will forever be a follower.

    cuteangiek

    ReplyDelete
  58. Dude you are my hero. I love the twilight series but Edward is a MORON!!!!!!!!!! and Robert is not hot AT ALL. End of story. I don't see why everyone loves him.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Thank you thank you thank you!! i thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me laugh harder than I have in weeks and allowing my poor husband to understand how he is not the only one. Thank God other adult women are retardedly smitten with this stuff like me, I was beginning to believe I had restarted puberty and was gonna fall in love with Corey Hart all over again. please keep up your writing, this is one I will read daily if possible. Just mention Robert pattinson in all your blogs and it will show up on my obsessive blog searches I carry out every two hours.

    ReplyDelete
  60. In case you haven't seen, I finally decided I couldn't let you go on without a shout out- thanks for the authorization! ;)

    http://www.examiner.com/x-13198-Twilight-Parents-Examiner~y2009m6d9-Twilight-Widower-Blogger-gains-instant-popularity

    Keep up the good work! Oh and post something new so I can snark it up!

    ReplyDelete
  61. You. Are my idol.

    Please come in out of the cold and post some more.

    ReplyDelete
  62. This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time! You could be my poor husband! I am 36 and live in Washington state and my poor kids and husband are suffering! I don't think there is a cure for the Twilight sickness! I to would have posters up if I could get away with it! HA HA HA HA! Good luck with your wife!

    ReplyDelete
  63. I died laughing. def sending this link to my husband who's had to endure tons of Twilight-ness this past year. He's been forced to watch it with me 5 times at least, one time it was with commentary.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Hi Twi Widower,
    So I don't know about your wife, but I drive my husband crazy with my photoshopping myself into photos with Rob P. Does she do that? Would love to send you the latest photo I made. My husband is ready to call the psych ward. Can I send it to you? Lee

    ReplyDelete
  65. WHERE ARE YOU? PLEASE UPDATE!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Pretty McSparkle....LMAO as usual. You're definitely my brand of heroin.

    ReplyDelete
  67. You are soo funny. Please check out my blog desperatetwilightfans.blogspot.com. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  68. You are so ridiculously funny, I find myself literally laughing out loud at your blogs. Although I laugh, I'm also fearing of my own sanity, I see many of these traits shown by your wife in myself... god help me hahaha!
    Also, uh, where are you?! I'm impatiently awaiting an update!

    ReplyDelete
  69. This is funny! Watch out. Rob Pattinson is sporting a baseball cap in NYC these days. You might just get one for Father's Day. Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I have officially found the funniest blog ever - I'm laughing so hard my son wants to know what's funny !!!

    ReplyDelete
  71. hate to tell you this but life is gonna get a lot worse for you. If you haven't already seen the new "stare collage" at people.com check it out. I know that your wife has ;/
    http://www.people.com/people/package/video/0,,20283823_20285422,00.html
    Sorry Twi-widower hope you have a 2nd TV

    ReplyDelete
  72. oop! I meant Computer ;)

    ReplyDelete
  73. You've just made my day! I almost couldn't finish reading with all the pauses to LOL. I LOVE THIS!!!! Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I loved this post. So glad I happened upon your blog. It is hilarious.
    I do my best to NOT do any of this stuff to my hubby. But the "staring" part - can't say I haven't THOUGHT of it.

    Had me in tears!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Vampires have been historically sexy and zombies...not so much lol.

    Hilarious post!

    ReplyDelete
  76. I just stumbled across you're site!!! This is the funniest thing ever!! I couldn't stop reading or laughing!!!

    Thanks for sharing you're twilight woes. :)

    ReplyDelete
  77. Why haven't I found this blog before???
    I Google EVERYTHING Twilight!
    Very Funny...
    You are so much more entertaining than the grunts and grumbles of my cousin's husband... Since I am the family stylist, I have been commissioned to turn her hubby into Edward! LOL! I feel bad, because she caught OeCD from me... My pastor’s daughter started it all and now: We are an army of wives, girlfriends, and single moms Twi-stalking @ Comic-con and movie Premieres. I do feel bad for the Twi-widowers -I'll send them your way. They need the support!

    ReplyDelete
  78. "I love you, onward!" best coverup ever.

    ReplyDelete
  79. sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes bitter, sometimes love and sometimes love life so thick
    mynet sohbet
    Sohbet Et
    cet
    Sohbet Et
    mynet
    mynet sohbet
    çet

    ReplyDelete
  80. My husband is in the same boat. He appreciates that you have the nerve to write this for other people to see. He suffers in silence.

    dizi izle, dizi

    kurtlar vadisi izle, kurtlar vadisi dizisi izle

    do admit. 60% of my attention and 90% of the energy I once had for house cleaning and sex has gone to Edward Cullen. At least we both know now we are not alone.

    Gönülçelen dizisi izle, gönülçelen izle, gönülçelen izle

    fatmagülün sucune izle, fatmagülün suçu ne dizisi izle
    ssues published on your site a great source of information for Internet users.
    We want to see a lot of people like this topic on your site.will increase your knowledge with the published issues.More expect this type of issues.
    Thank you.
    unutulmaz online dizi, unutulmaz dizisi izle, unutulmaz

    yaprak dökümü izle, yaprak dökümü dizisi, yaprak dökümü bölümler izle

    komedi dükkanı izle, komedi dükkanı startv izle, komedi dükkanı programı izle
    Thanks for this blog. It has helped him come to terms with the fact I want him to sparkle in the sun and give me impossible things and I blame it on him that he can't. He should just try harder, Edward Would.

    ReplyDelete
  81. I loved this post. So glad I happened upon your blog. It is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  82. thank
    DivxDepo | Paylaşımın Yeni Adresi.. | Dizi, Film, Divx, Belgesel, Sinema, Anime, Fringe, Kurtlar Vadisi Pusu, indir

    http://www.divxdepo.com

    ReplyDelete
  83. thank
    DivxDepo | Paylaşımın Yeni Adresi.. | Dizi, Film, Divx, Belgesel, Sinema, Anime, Fringe, Kurtlar Vadisi Pusu, indir

    http://www.divxdepo.com

    ReplyDelete
  84. Forsa http://forsatr.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  85. lent site. Theme of a site is very nice. There are a number of us to our site. But you more beautiful and wonderful sites. Thanks you very much real admin and boss bunder lipes
    porno
    porno
    porno
    porno izle
    film izle

    ReplyDelete
  86. Pembe Maske; Özellikle son zamanların en popüler cilt yenileme ürünüdür. Pembe Maske bir çok ünlü isim tarafından da yoğun olarak kullanılmaktadır. Yüzdeki kırışıklıklar, sivilce ve sivilcelerin sebep olduğu deformasyonları gidermede kullanılan Pembe yüz maskesi ve inceltici, selülit giderici olarak kullanılan pembe vücut maskesi olmak üzere iki farklı ürün mevcuttur.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Pembe Maske; Özellikle son zamanların en popüler cilt yenileme ürünüdür. Pembe Maske bir çok ünlü isim tarafından da yoğun olarak kullanılmaktadır. Yüzdeki kırışıklıklar, sivilce ve sivilcelerin sebep olduğu deformasyonları gidermede kullanılan Pembe yüz maskesi ve inceltici, selülit giderici olarak kullanılan pembe vücut maskesi olmak üzere iki farklı ürün mevcuttur.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I love this band! wow can´t believe I found your blog, is really hard to find info about them, maybe you can belive me but I have spent a lot of hours searching on biggest search engines and couldn´t find anything uhaul



    Liseli Porno
    xvideos
    sikiş
    sikiş izle
    porno
    porno izle
    porn izle

    ReplyDelete
  89. My first reaction to her statement was how sad I felt for someone who has given up on the possibility of achieving something that she had wanted to when she was a child. It appeared that the thought of taking adult music lessons was something that porno izle she considered to be absurd. Afterward,anal sex I considered the fact that with a full time job, three kids,şişman kadın pornosu a husband, a home to maintain, and several other constraints on her time and sanity, it may not be practical for her to consider taking music lessons. The next day, I called her regarding a thought that had suddenly occurred to me.

    It seems that google nexus is a porno film izle
    a great fun. It seems that it quite easy to handle it as well as it has got so many interesting features that porno it attracts me towards it . Hope sometime I will have this in my hand too.sikiş


    porno film
    sikiş izle
    porno hikaye
    porno indir
    porno
    xnxx
    xhamster
    xvideos

    ReplyDelete
  90. My first reaction to her statement was how sad I felt for someone who has given up on the possibility of achieving something that she had wanted to when she was a child. It appeared that the thought of taking adult music lessons was something that she considered to be absurd.Afterward,anal sex I considered the fact that with a full time job, three kids,şişman kadın pornosu a husband, a home to maintain, and several other constraints on her time and sanity, it may not be practical for her to consider taking music lessons. The next day, I called her regarding a thought that had suddenly occurred to me.




    It seems that google porno nexus is a great fun. It seems that it quite easy to handle it as well as it has got so many interesting features that porno it attracts me towards it . Hope sometime I türk porno will have this in my hand too.

    ReplyDelete
  91. The next day, I called her regarding a thought that had suddenly occurred to me.

    ReplyDelete
  92. En güzel Porno videoları bu siteden izleyebilir, Porno izle yip 31 çekebilirsiniz. Kesintisiz, reklamsız Sex izle videolarını izleyerek sikiş in tadına varın.
    Bedava sikiş izle
    En sağlam pornolar Free porn adresinde.

    Porn tube
    Porntube xxx
    Watch porn
    Sex hikayeleri
    Porno
    Sikiş

    ReplyDelete
  93. have done a great profile article first contact site is also very much liked the color images in fast girebiliyorum everything. I 've got a couple of my article yazıorum for them I really liked your site based on subject content in a pretty good article with content shared between each one looks good Forum , sites I' ve got everything all related issues have also atari oyunlari site cause there's all the Ataris played arcade games instead of all that you do not choose my site:) and finally the one have my whole width of my site can watch movies with HD quality viewing experience, and you'd looked at me my pleasure: D Thank you ... I hope you'll visit. Site content expert articles written in a very good I think. Thank you for making such a sharing site.

    ReplyDelete
  94. okay this is a very wonderful Uydunet thing that I liked it very much I 've been there a site to direksiyon dersi see the movie but this is a great blog tracking site, both sites have done a really good This site is very labor-old issues have been exhausted, and very beautiful site full of information issues and takes a very wonderful comments I'd like to hopefully see the point:) thanks. erotik shop saw.

    ReplyDelete
  95. oupsss thanks admin ;)anlat bakalım by cin
    porno ve daha bir çok alanda en iyi kalitede ve sıcak anlar burada sizi bekliyor
    pornolar ve daha bir çok alanda en iyi kalitede ve sıcak anlar burada sizi bekliyor
    porno aslında herşey zamansız ve nedensiz evklerden
    porno doğar siz kendıınızı tanımadıktan sonra kımse sizi tanımaz

    ReplyDelete
  96. oupsss thanks admin ;)anlat bakalım by cin
    porno ve daha bir çok alanda en iyi kalitede ve sıcak anlar burada sizi bekliyor
    pornolar ve daha bir çok alanda en iyi kalitede ve sıcak anlar burada sizi bekliyor
    porno aslında herşey zamansız ve nedensiz evklerden
    porno doğar siz kendıınızı tanımadıktan sonra kımse sizi tanımaz

    ReplyDelete
  97. Adult dünyasında yani porno dünyasında birbirinden güzel porno videolar bulunur.
    Bir çok kişi kısa pornolardan sıkılmış porno film izlemek için arayışa girdikleri bellidir. Tüm bu porno zevklerinin sebeplerinden bir
    de rokettube adında bir porno sitesinin açılmasıyla başlayan çok çeşitli porno videolarıdır. Biz yine her zaman ki gibi
    türk pornoları ve buna benzer durumda olan sex videolarını izliyoruz.
    Kullanıcıların tamamı olmasa da arada bir kaç kullanıcı türkçe porno diye arama yapıp bu tarz porno izlemek istediklerini söyledi.
    Adult videolar tamamen kişisel zevke göre yayılmıştır özellikler hd porno filmler son zamanlarda daha fazla rağbet görmüş ve
    türk pornolarının da bu özelliklere sahip olması beklenmiştir. Tabi birde ateşli fanteziye sahip olan sex filmleri var
    onları esgeçmeyelim. Her kullanıcı mutlaka kaliteli sex filmi izlemek istiyor. Donmadan hızlı açılan sex videoları
    tatmin edebilecek düzeyde olması beklentisi var herkezde. Bir kısım kullanıcı da türk türbanlı pornolar olsun liseli pornolar olsun
    bunların yanında liseli amcık resimleri de arıyorlar. Porno dünyasında zevkler sınır tanımıyor özellikle türkçe porno film izleyicileri
    götten sikiş pornoları arıyor. E o kadar porno zevkine sikişenler sizce nasıl bir fanteziye bürünsün ki.
    Tüm kullanıcılar bunlardan ziyade bilinmeyen pornoları yani x porno arayışında. Bilinen videoların sanki hepsini izledik tükettik bunlar kaldı birde değil mi.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Printing fully recognized matbaa profession in our country. A lot of people, or the history ucuz davetiye books as shown in the tape printing since Gutenberg nikah şekeri profession and an occupation which is carried out using Abraham Müteferrika'dan think that talking about the lead characters. bist canlı The development of technology has also affected the printing profession and became a computer-controlled machines used in production. Printing parts of the mostly male students prefer universities in the past years, while almost half of the canlı maç izle female students of classes today.

    ReplyDelete

All comments welcome. I feel your pain.