Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Every Movement Needs an Anthem

Sometimes, only another man's words can express how you truly feel, like in the timeless love story of Cyrano de Bergerac, or like those G 'n' R / Bon Jovi mix tapes you made for that girl back in Grade 8, before she started avoiding you and snickering at you with her friends in the cafeteria.

Sadly, I can't compose symphonies at the drop of the hat, unlike certain well-coiffed vampires, but thanks to Hank Green, I don't need to. This song will instantly strike a chord with any man who is desperately competing with a fictional vampire for his woman's affections, and I hereby adopt it as the official Twilight Widower's anthem.



While I do not have cold, rock-hard flesh, and I am sometimes guilty of needing "a minute to be human," I do have other redeeming qualities. For example, I make a wicked Indian butter chicken. And, I never once heard of Edward Cullen doing the dishes.

I ask you, which is better?
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88 comments:

  1. It's true, not farting is a huge turn on! I mean, there is nothing worse then waking up, in the middle of a great sleep, due to stank.

    And I truly do feel your pain. I've been competing with WoW for three years now. I'm sure those contacts must be painful. & Indian Butter Chicken does sound delicious... but... ;)

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  2. Outstanding! Let me know when the CD is out.

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  3. Love the song, love the lyrics and I also love how true it is. I would love to have some Indian Butter Chicken though.

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  4. Edward Cullen does do the dishes! In Eclipse he waits in the other room while Bella and Charlie eat, then comes back in to help Bella with the dishes. Sorry -- it had to be said. BTW, I've definitely started forwarding your blog to my husband. He thinks it's great!

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  5. I am so enjoying your blog. I can't waite for hubby to get home to read it. I do think I could miss a few meals and let the dishes pile up if Edward was around,LOL.

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  6. LittleSeaSparrowMay 7, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    What a great blog, so witty, funny and well-written. It's a joy to read you !

    ReplyDelete

  7. I think the anthem makes it so much more real...all you need now is a mascot, perhaps a dog? :)

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  8. @Heather - Oh my you are a GENIUS! That is perfect. Would his name be Jacob?

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  9. @cuteangiek - yeah, totally, Jacob!!! You're so WIN that you got it (I was really hoping that came off as funny and not super biatchy)

    And to the awesome Twi-dower who runs this blog - thanks for letting all of us addicts swarm all over your blog like the fruit loops we are. You're awesome.

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  10. Thanks for all the nice comments.

    @Heather and cuteangiek: A mascot? I like it. And maybe a uniform.

    @Val - I stand corrected. Damn. But I'm pretty sure he's never done the laundry, right? I didn't think so.

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  11. @ Twi-dower & Heather - I think we have a very marketable & highly profitable idea. Heck, slap Twilight on anything & they will come, right? I wonder what would happen if anti-Twi stuff was solid... hummm... sounds like a terrible world. Nevermind. :( LOL

    I don't think vampy's do laundry. They just buy new cloths because of all the money they have.... I think. That's an excellent question!

    Twi-dower, you make my husband & I laugh like crazy! :) Thanks for that.

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  12. So brilliant I had to share!
    http://twilightsisterhood.blogspot.com/2009/05/twilight-widowers-anthem.html

    ReplyDelete

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  14. No, he's never done the laundry because Alice likes to donate their clothes to people in need. She enjoys shopping and everyone lets her dress them as if they are "Paper Dolls" - Breaking Dawn and some of Eclipse goes over this.

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  16. I concur with Val.....Edward does dishes. He also cooks. Quite well, according to Seth. Even watched Food Network to learn. And he plans vacations all on his own, something I wish my husband would do.
    Sorry, you're really up against it!!

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