Why Must We Drive Downtown to Buy Milk?

Twilight Fangirl World Headquarters
(alternately known as downtown Vancouver).

It was an unusual evening at our house tonight. Claiming that my blog has "shamed her," the Missus cooked dinner and did the dishes afterwards, before withdrawing behind her laptop. This may seem like a small thing, but it's the most attention she's paid me since she's discovered Edward Cullen.

I felt she deserved a reward. (Positive reinforcement is the key to winning your woman back from the cold, grasping arms of that undead home wrecker).

I decided to give her my full attention as she chatted about her blogs instead of sulking in the corner with my arms crossed, and snorting whenever she mentions Robert Pattinson, as is my usual custom. I even helped her scrutinize the background of the Michael Sheen pics from Twi'Crack Addict to determine exactly where in Vancouver they were taken. (Living in Vancouver, this is a ritual for her whenever new New Moon cast pics are posted.)

Despite living so close to the set of New Moon, my wife has never yet asked me to go set-stalking with her, some small thing I suppose I should feel grateful for.

"I don't think I could ever actually go set-stalking anyway," she told me recently. "I just couldn't bring myself to hunt people down like that."

I bit my tongue. Obviously, her definition of 'hunting people down' doesn't include driving up and down Robson Street exclaiming "Is that Robert Pattinson?" every time she sees someone in a hoodie. (It really is amazing how many times we have had to go downtown lately.)

"I wouldn't want people coming up and gawking at me when I'm at work," she continued.

"But when they're out shopping or having a drink, they're fair game?"

"Shut up."

In truth, there are three reasons why my wife hasn't gone set-stalking, despite being at the epi-centre of New Moon Madness:

1. We are too lazy. Frankly after working all day, it's just too much work to go out and try to find celebrities.
   
   
2. My wife is actually quite reluctant to meet the actors in real life. She is convinced that, invariably, she would find them disappointingly ordinary and subsequently wouldn't enjoy the films as much.
   
   
3. We are too old and un-hip (just ask our teenager) to even know where trendy young people hang out anymore. And if we did, the young people would laugh at us when we got there.
   

Nevertheless, it has become part of our daily routine to look at pap shots of the cast while my wife says "OMG I've been there. We were there just last week!" Uncannily, she will find a legitimate reason to be there again on some small personal errand or supposedly work-related reason. I don't know how she does this, but it is incredible to watch.

Sadly, she has yet to "accidentally" bump into any cast members yet, but it's only a matter of time. We're down to a quarter jug of milk.