The other day, while trying to talk my wife down from buying a full-size Edward Cullen poster for our bedroom, I had an eerie sense of deja vu.
Hordes of screaming girls. Object of adoration plastered on posters and T-shirts everywhere. Impossibly sexy hair.
And then it hit me. I've been here before.
It was 1988, and teenage boys everywhere were up against a force even their powerful hormones and youthful optimism could not defeat.
The New Kids on the Block (NKTOB) had arrived. This hair-gel based boy band stole the hearts of obsessive teenage fangirls the world over, leaving a trail of jealous, less-perfect boys in their wake. Donnie, Danny, Joey, Jordan and Jonathan lip-synched their way to fame and fortune, producing the kind of mass swoons even Robert Pattinson has yet to achieve.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would once again, over twenty years later, be forced to compete with an equally formidable adversary: Stephenie Meyers' fictional vampire Edward Cullen, as embodied by British sensation, Robert Pattinson.
At first, I felt uncomfortable reliving my most awkward of years. But the fact that I had lived through this before gave me hope: it didn't last then, and it cannot last now.
Sure, in 1988 they were bigger than Jesus. But by 1992, NKOTB experienced a wave of backlash they never recovered from. First came the disastrous self-produced album. Then allegations of lip-synching. Finally, persistent rumours that the band members hated each other took hold, and sales slumped.
Then in flash, they were gone.
Fast forward to 2009.
Twilight-mania has reached a fever pitch. After the release of the highly anticipated final chapter in the series, a successful movie and with a much-hyped sequel in the wings, we are experiencing the same high-water mark as NKOTB in 1989, between the release of Hangin' Tough and their number one single Step by Step.
If the parallels continue as they are now, I expect a final waning of the Twilight phenomenon due approximately in Fall 2014.
While this may seem like a long time, it is reassuring to know that this will eventually come to an end. With the continued support of blogs like this one, us Twilight Widowers should be able to weather these dark times, knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hang in there.